The Infamous Race

A long, long time ago when I was three I entered a running race while at daycare.

Distance: 25 meters, about 17 strides for a kid of my stature.
My competition: my fellow toddler companions.
The finish line: the unassuming brick wall at the opposite end of the playground.

The race begins and I easily pull ahead from the other hopefuls. A few paces in, smug little me decides that now is the perfect time to look over my shoulder to mock the boy who called me a slowpoke at the starting line. Satisfied with the gap, I turn back around to finish the race and claim my bragging rights prize when

BOOM!

My face gets a very personal introduction with that finish line wall.

Fast forward to my mother anxiously racing me to the emergency room after being told by daycare staff that they had never seen a lump form so quickly and obtrusively. A short time later when my x-rays come in, the lab technicians, my parents, the coughing man in the waiting room, and the woman who only came in to use the bathroom were all able to laugh the whole thing off. My brain was the same as it was pre-wall, partly proven by the blurry bottom half of the x-ray images. Yup, even running into a wall at full sprint, being rushed to the hospital, and worried over by everyone around me wasn’t enough to get me to shut up long enough to get a clear x-ray.

Some warned me against voluntarily sharing this potentially demeaning story. In response, I say: first of all, don't assume this is voluntary and I'm not tied up somewhere being threatened against my will. And secondly, I prefer to view the lesson in this light: I go all out, and when I hit the metaphorical (or literal) brick wall I remain unphased. Brick walls happen. It's how you get up and brush yourself off that's important.

I'm not embarrassed by this story. It's shaped me into who I am today (as in, I have a permanent dent in my forehead). But hey, go brick or go home, right?

The aftermath, a portrait that has been used on album covers, memes, and merch.